Crash- Phan

"WHAT THE FUCK!!" Dan screamed as he grabbed my wrist. I tried to struggle out of his grip but it was too tight. Hot tears were streaming down my face, blurring my vision. "Let me Dan, please let me" I blubbered as I tried to crawl to the edge again. "No fucking way!" He said sternly, pulling me backwards, away from my destination. I pushed his hands off my shoulders and started shuffling back to the sheer drop. "Phil STOP!" He exclaimed, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me back into his arms. There were tears dripping down his face too, rolling off the smooth skin and onto my hair. I let out a strangled sob and curled up in his strong arms. He rocked me back and forth, the tears and quiet wails never stopping. My head was thumping and aching and my throat felt like it had been burnt to a crisp. What had brought me to this? He stroked my hair as I whimpered and writhed. "I want to die, I want to die" I whispered over and over. I sounded so broken. So beyond repair. "You know I would never let you jump, Phil. You can't leave me here." He whispered into my ear. I sniffed and burrowed my head into his chest. "I'm sorry." I apologised almost silently. I had failed so many times. The alcohol and vodka hadn't worked; it had just left me in immense pain. I couldn't bring myself to put the noose around my neck, even after spending weeks learning how to make the perfect one. I swallowed and broke down in his hold. "Don't be sorry. Don't worry about it baby, I'm here and I'll always be." He told me in a soft voice. And I knew he was telling the truth. I nodded and we sat there, coiled up, against the wind. I felt safe in Dan's arms. It was like a little shell to protect me from real life. But as an egg has to hatch, I was aware it couldn't last forever. He was leant up against the large concrete chimney, sweat and tears stained his gorgeous face, his jeans torn from when he had caught them running to me. I was covered in dirt, tears, snot, burns, cuts, scars, it was a surprise Dan would even bare to hold me in his arms. We lay there in, more or less, silence. He refused to withdraw his clutch on my frail body and I didn't want to leave. As my tears subsided, Dan opened his mouth. He started to quietly sing. It sounded a bit croaky but I didn't blame him. It sounded perfect to me anyway. "But when I looked at her I thought of only you" he sung sweetly. "If only there was proof I could use to show it's true."  I felt the tears pricking in my eyes again. Now I remembered what among other things drove me to this. "Just crash, fall down. I'll wrap my arms around you, now. Just crash it's our time now, to make this work a second time around." His voice slowly formed into quiet tears. We were both choking up now. I grabbed for his flesh, just to make sure it was real. My arms found their way to his waist. We were dissolving in our own tears. He placed his hands on the sides of my cheeks and brought my face up to his. His bewitching brown eyes were shiny with tears and red around the rims. I sniffed and looked away, ashamed that I had done this to him. He placed his thumb and forefinger on my chin and tilted my head back to face his. He brought his lips to mine and hesitated for a second. I felt his breath brush my lips. He still moved forwards, my mouth meeting his. My heart stopped. Everything stopped. My eyes closed and I kissed him back. It was quick and he pulled back, looking up at me. I could hear his light breathing through his slightly parted lips. I didn't know what to say so I just looked into his eyes. He said nothing but lay down, pulling me down with him. "Don't leave me alone Phil. I need you."He susurrated. I shuffled closer to him and replied, "I won't". I felt a drop of water on my face but I didn't care. We lay together for hours, the rain gradually soaking us.